Remember the Marshmallow Study from the '50's?

Insights on Self-Control

In this New York Times article, author Pamela Druckerman reports on a conversation with Walter Mischel, the Columbia University psychologist who conducted the “marshmallow” experiments in the 1950s. His well-known finding was that five-year-olds who could defer gratification – resisting the urge to gobble down a marshmallow or cookie so they could get two when the researcher returned – grew up to be thinner, have higher SAT scores, earn more advanced degrees, use cocaine less, and cope better with stress.

           

But Mischel (pronounced me-SHELL) says lots of people have drawn the wrong conclusion from his research, believing erroneously that young children’s inability to resist temptation is their lifelong destiny. Self-control can be taught, he says, and that’s especially important for those who are helping low-SES children succeed in school. It also applies to grown-ups trying to resist checking e-mail every few minutes, eating too much bread, yelling at their spouse, or going to bed too late.

           

“Part of what adults need to learn about self-control is in those videos of 5-year-olds,” says Druckerman. “The children who succeed turn their backs on the cookie, push it away, pretend it’s something inedible like a piece of wood, or invent a song. Instead of staring down the cookie, they transform it into something with less of a throbbing pull on them.” Adults can use similar strategies: Take the bread off the dinner table. When a waiter offers a chocolate mousse, imagine that a cockroach has just crawled across it. When you’re upset, imagine viewing yourself from the outside.

           

Our brains have two warring parts, explains Mischel. The limbic system demands instant gratification; the prefrontal cortex is rational and goal-oriented. “We don’t need to be victims of our emotions,” he says. “We have a prefrontal cortex that allows us to evaluate whether or not we like the emotions that are running us.” The secret to self-control is training the prefrontal cortex to take control. Specific if-then plans work best: If it’s before noon, I won’t check e-mail or If I feel angry, I will count backward from 10. This is more difficult for children who’ve been exposed to chronic stress – their limbic system is in overdrive. But if their environment changes, their self-control can improve.

Sitzfleisch alone doesn’t guarantee success, says Mischel. To achieve, people need a “burning goal” that gives them a reason to use their distraction skills. Mischel’s burning goal from childhood was to “make a life that would help my family recover from the trauma of suddenly becoming homeless refugees” (they fled Vienna when the Nazis took over). His current goal is to find coping skills for children suffering from trauma. At 84, he distracts himself from the afflictions of advancing age. “Melancholy is not one of my emotions,” he says. “Quite seriously, I don’t do melancholy. It’s a miserable way to be.”

“Learning How to Exert Self-Control” by Pamela Druckerman in The New York Times, September 14, 2014, http://nyti.ms/1x2vckj; Mischel’s about-to-be released book (with Alan Alda) is The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self-Control.

If you haven't seen the video, watch this: